Rachel; RachelRawrr-X

"It's a long hard road. But distances always get shorter, hard objects soften... in time. And time is precious, you only get one shot at life + it's up to you to fill that long road with joyous memories. It's your smile that reflects the sun, it's your eyes that see past the darkness, it's your voice that comforts the suffering - it's YOU that makes the long hard road not so hard at all. You have a lot to offer, people have a lot to offer you.. but you have to live to experience these opportunities - so just, live :]"

"Since day 1 of my education, I've been bullied. Why so young? I don't know.
I guess being short really didn't help.
As I grew, say Year 5/5th Grade I began to become more individual + had my own kind of style. A little dark or weird I suppose. I started to listen to all sorts of rock music that I really enjoyed - but was constantly humilated for it. I'd be seperated, pinned against walls, beat up + name called. When I moved to high school I thought okay a fresh start, but it continued. By year 8 I'd had enough and decided I'd fit in for once in my god damn life. I made two friends, who I trusted + had a reasonably good time with. I always felt left out though, they'd known each other forever and always sided against me. In the start of Year 9 I began to listen to what I used to, because I wanted to. My favourite band became My Chemical Romance + I decided I wasn't going to hide anymore + that I'll be proud of who I am and show my individuality. But they didn't like it, not one bit. Constant "emo" taunting and snidy conversations. I was totally alone, I started to get the class and others in the school mentioning the emo thing all the time. I had no friends, I felt trapped + ashamed. I was so angry about everything that was going on in my life. I'd hide in the music room at lunch + break and avoid conversations at all cost. I then began to self-harm to let out all the anger + frustration. It seemed to work for me, I felt relieved. But I got caught out. Screaming, shouting, crying... it was horrible. I started a counselling group at my school which helped a hell of a lot. It wasn't specifically on self-harm, more confidence problems. It took me a while to get used to it but I soon felt involved. But it wasn't enough, after arguments at home + school I self harmed worse than before. My Mum found blood and confronted me... the next day I was dragged to the doctors + got an appointment for a counseller. I hated her. The patronising cow. I refused to go back. But I have continued at school, and I'm slowly getting through it. Not every type of therapy works for you; you have to find which one works best for YOU. If anyone goes through this, please get help. Before it gets too late. I know how hard it is to tell someone, but try. I'm here if you need to talk too, I have been suicidal + I know what depression is like so you can always talk to me. ♥"